Apparently, he's a straight guy who wanted to experiment with men in a very limited way. But after he came, I was really aching for release myself.
If not getting oral at home is the price of admission you're willing to pay to be with your wife, and if allowing you to get oral elsewhere is the price of admission she's willing to pay to be with you, then Godspeed, IWFU, and tip the sex workers you patronize and speak up to fight the stigma against doing sex work and hiring sex workers.
So I go down on her, she doesn't go down on me, and I see escorts who do. It Works For Us In regards to your first complaint, IWFU, there are sex workers out there fighting for their rights and fighting the stigma against sex work—along with fighting prohibition, the Nordic Model, and SESTA (google it)—but you don't see the men who employ them stepping up and joining the fight.
"[It's time for] all of you clients out there [to] get off your duffs and fight," as sex worker and sex-worker-rights advocate Maggie Mc Neill wrote on her blog.
Always was bi but identified as gay because (1) he prefers men as romantic partners and (2) the biphobia he encountered in gay male spaces/bedrooms/buttholes convinced him to stay closeted but he doesn't want to live a lie anymore and he's done hiding from the man he loves but instead of using his words and coming out to you like a grown-up, GAYBYBI, your boyfriend is letting you know he's bi with his porn choices and a big push to make a MMF threesome sound like a sexy adventure you would both enjoy? As for how to handle it, GAYBYBI, you'll have to use your words: Ask your boyfriend if he's bi.
Is it reasonable to be put off if rather than simply hearing "Excuse me" when you are inadvertently in someone's way, the person trying to gain access says, "Do you have to stand there?